~~Twelve & Innocent~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          I was twelve innocent years old when my virtue was forced away from me by my sister’s 20 year old boyfriend.

         November 15, 1974 As I lay in my bed napping from a long day of Jr. High school, I awoke to hands being rubbed up and down my back. “It’s to keep them warm” said Rapist, Robert Mitchell of San Jose, California. Immediately feeling uncomfortable I jumped up, put on and fastened up my jacket and went to the living room where he followed. “I raped and killed my best friend’s little sister in Detroit, Michigan and will do the same to you” he stated as he stood at the bookshelf toying with a pair of scissors, looking at me with evil eyes. My first instinct was to jump out of the window which would have rendered me cut but safe. I knew not at that time to listen to and follow my first mind. He then made his way over to me, grabbed my hands and led me back to my bedroom. He took off all of my clothes and forced his way into my virgin body. I cried and kept telling him it hurt. He sucked my breast as if I was supposed to be enjoying it. he kept saying “don’t tell anyone or lots of people will be hurt” while continuing to rip into my virgin body, pounding me like a hammer to a nail. Never mind the hurt I was feeling. As I continued saying it hurt it led him to ask “would you rather suck it instead? “. “No” I immediately replied. After he finished degrading me he pulled out a dollar from his wallet, gave it to me and reminded me “not to tell anyone or lots of people will be hurt” and took off out the door.

         Feeling the dirtiest I’d ever felt in life I went to the bathroom and started to wash the snot like liquid that seemed to drain endlessly from my body. All I wanted to do is be clean again. As I kept washing between tears I heard knocking. I crept to the door and immediately jumped but was relieved at the sight of my aunt’s face. She noticed I’d jumped and knew right away something was wrong and demanded to know what. After a few “nothing” lies I broke down and told her what had just occurred. She called the police, my mother from work and tried to comfort me all at the same time. Robert the Rapist Mitchell reappeared. She asked him why and he immediately denied all and looked at me as if I had betrayed him. Feeling empowered with my aunt standing next to me, I pulled out the dollar, screamed “then where did I get this dollar from!” and threw it at him.

         Police and my mother arrived, asked me a million questions and did indeed arrest him. My sister, his girlfriend later told my mother that he told her “I just fuc..d your sister” after he had left from raping me and picking her up. There was a lady who had accompanied my aunt and seemed to be the only one who knew what to do at the time. I thank God for her presence. She bear hugged me and asked of all things, “Are you going to go to college?” Looking back I know she was only trying to take my mind off of the dastardly event. I hadn’t really thought that far ahead in life but I said yes and melted inside the warmth of her very safe, comforting bear hug trying myself to go elsewhere in my mind as well.

         After what seemed like eternity Robert Rapist Mitchell was taken away in handcuffs. We had to also go to the police station so that I could give a statement of what happened. For some reason or another I was separated from my mother, put in what seemed like an interrogation room, (I could hardly breathe) and what again felt like eternity. Finally the sergeant  came in, questioned me as if I were the suspect. To this day I can still remember him giving an analogy that a Seven-Eleven store owner would “fake a robbery in order to collect insurance money” and right away wanted to know what my motive was. I was flabbergasted at his suggestion and stuck with the truth of what had happened to me. How can a virgin even know how to make up such a story being that she’d known nothing of sex in anyway shape of form?

         After the interrogation ordeal I was then taken to the hospital and examined where my mother was present during the exam procedure. To this day I don’t know what those results were but was glad when it was over and was finally able to go back home.

         All I could then think about was my name going to be smeared all over the newspaper in reference to the misfortune that happened to me and that all of my friends were going to be at school questioning me of the rotten event. Mind relieved once I was assured that my name would not appear in the newspaper as I truly was the victim and not Robert Rapist Mitchell.

         Shortly after we moved back to Richmond, California. I simply wanted to forget all about what occurred in San Jose, did not want to talk about it to anyone, ever.

         My sister was a teenager and she seemed to posses strong hatred for me though it could have also had something to do with her going through puberty. To my surprise she told a neighbor that “I hate Chelsea because she put my boyfriend in jail” There went my ability to keep quiet about it. My best friend whose sister was best friends with the neighbor she’d told of her hatred for me told my best friend’s sister and they all wanted to know what I did to put her boyfriend in jail, the very fact she intentionally left out. And so I was forced to tell (my best friend since third grade) what happened as she was strong minded, persistent and would not leave me alone until I told her.

         Months after we had to go back to San Jose to go to court. Me and my sister were not allowed to be in court at the same time. My mother told me in court that she simply stated “he did not do it” this after she had told my mother that Robert Rapist Mitchell told her after the fact “I just fuc..d your sister” His lawyer questioned me about the scissors in particular “did he hold them in a threatening manner when he said that he was going to kill you?” he demanded to know as he put me on trial as if I were the criminal. I stayed calm and answered his intimidating questions and was glad to get back home and away from all of that hostility.

         Soon after court she ran away from home which I was not the least bit disappointed. I tried to live as normal a life as possible by suppressing the entire ordeal. I tried my best to be as happy a teenager as possible under the rotten circumstances.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Victims/Survivors, do know if this has happened to you, DO NOT KEEP IT IN! You are the most important person that it will end up destroying, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You are entitled to live a happy and a healthy life! Just want you to know that. 🙂

Yvonnia Houston is a freelance writer and have written DO TELL SOMEONE! Inner Turmoils Surrounding Sexual Abuse Victims in addition to quite a few happy children’s books. She felt compelled to write after holding down pain and turmoil for a long time before being able to finally talk about it. In doing so she realized that she was not the only victim and in addition. She also learned of a lot of male victims who felt doubly pressured to keep it in because they would be looked at as “faggot” though that is the furthest fact from the truth.

Sample Reading DO TELL SOMEONE! Inner Turmoils Surrounding Sexual Abuse Victims This book is comprehensive enough for a child to read and understand in the format it is written in. If it was in fact your child, girl or guy, please get them counseling as soon as possible so that they can repair their heart at an early age and not have to deal with all of the trauma as an adult.